Question:
I'm having problems with what I guess you'd call performance anxiety. When I
try to work on this paper I'm writing, I freeze up. I'm so worried about all
the work I have to do (it's that time of the semester again, you know).
I've tried breaking it down (by doing an outline and then breaking that into
substeps), taking frequent breaks, not taking breaks, having something to eat,
taking a nap, affirmations (yes, even), breathing exercises, etc. Nothing seems
to help much, if at all!
Anyway let me know if you have any ideas...
Answer:
As you know..there is really NO key answer to stress relief. I
ALWAYS have a hard time with this. But, let me just throw some creative
ideas out, no matter how wild they sound, and see what you think. First
off though, don't think you have to "do something" to relieve
stress...just "act" (i.e.. without thinking or planning it), you know
what I mean?
Have you thought about just taking off somewhere, say just grab a
friend, and do a spontaneous "last minute" thing?? How about some good
sex???(If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend/whatever...you don't have have
to comment on this...I was just thinking of safety..heh). How about
going to see a show, theater, or a band?? How about going and buying
yourself a couple of new cd's you've wanted (if you are into music??) Or
going to visit a good friend/relative, that you really ENJOY being
with..heh.
Yes..these ALL seem like "avoidance behaviors", but, sometimes our minds
become TOO focused on one thing. I can relate with the exam thing..mind
you I just used to go out, get loaded...and that's NOT a smart thing to
do..LOL.(Save that for AFTER the exam:-) Just take some time for
yourself....take a nice, long hot bath, with candles and bubble bath ;-)
Go to a museum or art gallery. Just make time for "YOU".
All the things you have tryed are good ways to deal with it. You have to do
things regularly for them to work. They say 20 times makes a habit. Do
your deep breathing, maybe some visualization. Take breaks. Be
consistant. Put your focus forward and keep your problems in perspective.
This may not be a quick fix but if you put it to use and do it untill it
becomes second nature its bound to help. I talk from the stand point of
recovery. I used to be nearly housebound. So you can get better. Most
important is to keep a positive attitude.....its more than half the battle.
For me panic and anxiety are no longer road blocks but challenges I must
face when I go out, study.....whatever. But I am dealing with them.
I wish I had good advice for you but I don't have any. It seems like you're
*obsessing* over this paper which obviously makes it very difficult to do because
you have to deal with the obsession first. Tentatively, I can imagine something
along the lines of trying to make it feel like a casual thing, like trying to focus
on something else and then surprise yourself by working on it at strange times when
you normally wouldn't work. Distraction in order to be able to concentrate, as a
paradox. Hm, doesn't sound like I'm getting my point across. Also you could decide
*not* to work on it for the next two days or so (maybe even discard the whole idea
of *ever* doing it) and see what happens. Another possibility might be deciding to
work on it for, say, two hours (or whatever seems best) and then focus on something
nice you're going to reward yourself with afterwards so that the actual work gets
to be somewhere in between *before* and *after*, a casual thingie that just has to
be done in order to be able to do something you really want to do.
I used to often wonder myself what made me so poor at homework yet pretty good
on tests. I have come to this conclusion: Homework is drudgery! Something that
HAS to get done. I have always hated doing anything because I HAD to or feel
obligated to do. It was almost an agoraphobic thing for me. There was this stuff
laying before that HAD to be completed or I would get into trouble. No way out.
If it had not been for my test scores I would have never made it out of high school.
I am much the same these days when it comes to housework. Its gotta get done but
it makes me feel trapped.
I do not know if this reflects the way you are feeling. Just a thought.
I am still struggling with these feelings so I cannot offer any advice
if this happens to be the case with you. If it is, perhaps you can find
ways to deal with it and share them with me! :)
