Question:
It's probably been about a year since I was here last. A lot has happend. A
year ago I was out of work and going through some major life changes and I was
serious thinking about suicide. Then I got a job earning more money than I was
at my old job and things were looking good. I liked my job and I started to
think that maybe I could make it through this difficult period in my life. Then
my company was aquired by another bigger company. A few weeks ago 60% of my
office was laid off. The whole company may go under soon. I don't really like
my job anymore and lately life has not been going too great. Except for my
mother, no one in my family even speaks with me. They are bunch of
conservative, closed minded bigots who do not agree with my lifestyle. My old
friends have rejected me.
I don't know what is going to happen. If I lose my job again and go through the
same stress all over again, I don't know if I want to pick up the pieces again.
Answer:
dont know what 'life choice' you made, but you should not be penalised
for being honest with yourself. and it sounds like, at this stage, you
can only go forwards.
I think what you said about creating your own family and finding new
friends is right.. but its hard to let go of those who that you have
known for so long. its sad about your father, sounds like he's cutting
off his nose to spite his face.
as for your job, a friend of mine is going through something similar.
with more than one shite thing happening to you, no wonder you feel so
bad. i guess perhaps one of those things you could handle, but
everything all at once, rather overwhelming to put it mildly.
I would say that if friends reject you then they are not very good
friends, but such words dont really help stop the pain.
One thing is sure , I remember the identity crisis you had, and are
a transgender [I rememberd because I was proud of you, and of
everyone who fights for how you feel, what you are inside]
That's why I hate to see things are going down...because if there's
one person who doesn't deserve that, it's you, because you had your
share already.
I thought you had a relationship , or working things out to see if
you were ready for a relation...I remember you were pretty exited
about it. So, did it work?
Another things what comes to mind is, do you have a counseler or a
shrink, who helped[s] you with your identity problems?
I know how hard it is...being ignored or when you feel left alone
by your family, it must be awful for you.
I'm getting angry thinking how lonely you must feel...being not
understood...just an arm around you from your mother/dad, sisters,
brothers can mean so much...when having a hard time.
Life is not fair Steph, I hope...at least you will keep your job, so
you can pay your medical bills...[hormones 'n stuff]
I'm sorry about the poor words [I'm Dutch]...I can't find the right
words...but I hope you know that someone cares or at least understands.
For me those "major life changes" were two years ago... I wasn't
entirely sure just what changes you were hinting at, but then Celibate
confirmed my guess - and I can feel with you.
they do speak with me, but except of my mother, none tries
to understand me. And my mother tries, but I am not always sure, how
much she succeeds.
Never had any really close friends, so there weren't (m)any to
reject me. Doesn't make life much less lonely, though.
