Question:
I am so stressed lately and quite worried about what the stress is doing to
me and the baby. (I am 30w2d with #2.)
I found out on the weekend that my mom's been diagnosed with breast cancer -
she's scheduled for surgery tomorrow (Thurs). Unfortunately, I have no
further information right now (she lives about 2 hours away from me) but my
two sisters will be with her for the surgery and will be speaking to the
doctors. (I'm going up on the weekend.)
I am so upset, worried and frightened... I can't eat, sleep or even think
straight.
I feel physically and emotionally drained. This can't be good for me or the
baby... but what can I do??? Will the stress have any lasting effects on
the baby??
Answer:
I've just/am going through the EXACT same thing. My Mom was diagnosed with
breast cancer when I was 37 weeks with my fifth. She also lives two hours
away and I am an only child. Due to my advanced maternity I wasn't able to
travel to go be with her during her visits to the surgeon and
oncologists-she had to do it all alone. My midwife broke my water at 38w6d
and I had Emma 4 hrs later on Jan 4. I was not eating or sleeping and was a
completely and total WRECK, and I was also dilating and getting ready to
have her anyway.
We didn't know until last week if there was any metastasis-thank goodness
there doesn't seem to be. My mom started chemo last week and will have
surgery when that is over than 12 more weeks of chemo.
Try to take care of yourself the best you can. Your sisters can take care of
your mom until you can help. Your first priority is you and your baby.
My mom died of brain cancer (on Ash Wednesday) when I was almost 5 months
along. It was a very difficult and stressful time but my daughter was born
at term without any problems (other than being a red-head, which I'm pretty
sure had nothing to do with mom!).
While avoidable stress SHOULD be avoided, there are going to be things that
happen in life that throw you for a loop. The best thing to do is try not
to panic, keep informed, do what you can to encourage your mom to fight ,
and if you have some kind of routinely used stress reliever by all means,
practice it (whether it be yoga, music, painting, or even a long bubble
bath).
I worked in a doctor's office and was on my feet 8 hrs a day. The week
before this happened, we had 2 medical emergencies at work (we rarely
had these in the 6 years I worked there) My stepmother had emergency
heart bypass surgery 3 days before labor started. I stayed up all night
worrying about her and my dad. My coworker kept giving me a hard time
about not going to see her. I knew my body couldn't take working all day
and then driving an hour to see her. I felt so guilty about NOT seeing
her, which caused more stress. The doctor never did say why I had
preterm labor, but I really feel it was stress/exhaustion.
I'm not going to tell you not to worry about your mother. But, do try
to lay down as much as possible and eat whatever nutritious foods you
can. If you don't have an appetite, Carnation instant breakfast is good
for you and easy to get down.
