Question:
What can extreme amounts of stress do to a baby?
I am trying to plan a wedding in under two weeks... and let's just say that
total panic attacks for the last three days are leaving me stressed.
Can anyone tell me what the worst thing stress can do to my baby?
Answer:
Stress per se is not really the issue. It's how you
*handle* the stress. If you can experience stress, but then
calm yourself down and cope, that's far less likely to affect
the baby than if you remain in a constant state of stress.
Learn to let go a bit. There's only so much you can do.
If it's too much, scale back, reduce expectations, delegate,
or whatever it takes. Practice meditation or prayer or whatever
works for you. Take some time each day to unwind by yourself, no
matter how much is going on. Your baby experiences what you
experience, for the most part. If you must have some stress,
find some peace to share as well. Also keep some perspective--
this is two weeks. You've got the rest of your pregnancy to
make things better even if you have a difficult two weeks.
I wouldn't want to exaggerate the effects of stress.
People have gone through horrible times and delivered healthy
babies--witness all the 9/11 babies. At the same time, there's
abundant research suggesting that constant stress is far from
ideal for babies. But that's the bad news. The good news is
that you can have an effect by deciding how *you* will react
to the stress. You don't have to take on the world. You don't
have to live up to everyone else's expectations. You have the
right to take care of yourself and your baby. In the case
of a wedding, there's a *lot* you have control over. The wedding,
the timing, and what you do are significantly under your control,
unlike a tragedy like a death in the family. Furthermore, even
in the worst of cases, you can choose how to react. You can
choose to let some things slide instead of reacting to them.
You can choose to lower your expectations. You can choose to
take time for yourself.
If you want to do some reading, Frederick Wirth has
written a book about this very issue called _Prenatal Parenting_.
I don't know if now is the time to read it, and I do have some
qualms about the book. I think we already club pregnant women
and new mothers over the head with a lot of guilt over how their
behaviors might cause problems with the baby. The last thing
we need is to be stressing pregnant women out by telling them
their babies might be sicker or colicky or whatever because
they were too stressed while pregnant! On the other hand, I
think he makes a compelling argument that one's emotional state
during pregnancy has an effect on the baby. And, to his credit,
he proceeds to spend half the book detailing various ways to
manage stress (most of which will be familiar to anyone who's
read anything about stress reduction), so it's not all guilt-
inducing with no real solutions. You can read some of his
information at his website, http://www.prenatalparenting.com.
I would guess it depends on when in the pregnancy the stress occurrs. If it
occurs early, I would gues that it could reduce the amount of nutrients
getting to the baby. If the stress is around the time of labor, it can delay
the labor, and can make it more painful and difficult.
