Question:
My wife and I are about to start a year long separation which I'm very
much stressing about at the moment. I have to get a new job soon 'cause
mine is ending and I'll need more money to live on my own.
I am trying to decide between shooting for a position that is higher
pay, but significantly higher stress work (and something I'm not
convinced I could handle if my stress level goes too much higher) or
something that is low paying but also low stress work. Lower pay would
mean financial pressure, but I'm generally comfortable living on very
little. But I also want to do right by the kids and be able to do more
fun things with them that cost money like vacations.
I feel like my stress meter is already close to maxed out, but does
stress generally get better or worse as you separate?
Answer:
Stress gets worse....lots of adjustments to make. I think taking your
kids on expensive vacations isn't a huge thing, is it?
If it's a choice between quality of life and money, then go for the
quality of life. Resist the temptation (if it's there) to be "Disney
Dad"... the kids would much prefer a *real* Dad, and in the long run
it's better for all concerned, including you.
Hmmm....
The Love and I have decided on a "quality of life" versus "money"
issue. At the end of this contract we *will* leave India even though
we'll be offered $ to stay. We've had enough, and we just don't need
the money...
It becomes different - of a different type. I think the answer really
depends on the particular situation, and there is no universal answer to
that.
Probably true.
But if it also meant I would have to give up the home they've lived in
for the last 4 years and move into a smaller condo, is it worth the
extra stress and work to try and keep them in the same house and
bedrooms? Or do they (teenagers) still value 'less stressed Dad' more
than 'familiar home' when everything else gets uprooted?
Let's see, the higher paying job would give you more money as income, and
having a higher income means more alimony to the ex with no effort on her
part. And the higher stress level, you mean it wouldn't bother you to work a
higher stress job that'll keep you further away from your kids cuz of the job
pressures, then you'll stress more because of the divorce proceedings and
knowing you're working harder so the ex gets more money and you can't see the
kids and the ex is being a bitch about visitation etc etc etc.
My advice, go for the lower stress-inducing job and spend more time w. your
kids even if it's not on a costly vacation, there's lots to do on a budget.
